At 2:15 AM one morning, I was awakened by an insistent and nagging sound of a car horn. The first time I ignored it, but after the second and third time of rapid succession of honking, I got up.
I couldn’t see anything out my window because of the big tree in front of it, but I could hear voices. Very loud voices of two women arguing.
Of course, I couldn’t make out EVERYTHING, but “He don’t love you” and something about a baby made it perfectly clear that these women were arguing about a man.
I don’t know the whole story, but like all stories involving two women and one man, there’s always hurt, dishonesty, and anger lurking around.
Having the realization that your man has been unfaithful is a punch to the gut.
As much as I felt bad for my neighbor, I started to feel equally as bad for the woman who was so angry and heartbroken that she felt it necessary to come to another woman’s house in the middle of the night…
All in hopes of embarrassing the other woman.
The woman, just like her, is sleeping with the same man.
I also felt sorry for the woman who has to face her neighbors who will undoubtedly act like they didn’t hear anything, knowing full well that they had. The embarrassment on top of the pain can be unbearable for anyone.
Neither one of these women was on a side I wanted to be on.
No time during this tirade did I hear a man’s voice. Either he was cowering upstairs under the covers or he happened to escape out the back window. After five minutes of trying to strain my ear, I shook my head and climbed back into bed.
There’s never a reason to fight for a man.
Have I ever fussed at another woman about my (or her) man?
No.
I have, however, cussed a man out, thrown things, and cried when I found he was being unfaithful.
I’ve never approached the other woman because my beef is not with her, it is with him. He’s the one who promised to be faithful to me, not her. Though I may consider her all kinds of skanks, I have no ill feelings toward her.
Fighting another woman, either verbally or for god’s sake physically, is not only desperate but it’s pathetic. In the end, you have done nothing but embarrass yourself.
I have listed 7 reasons why you should never fight for a man, no matter if he’s your boyfriend or your husband. Hopefully, you will leave him and the relationship with your dignity intact.
He’s not worth it.
If he is capable of sleeping with you and another woman without remorse, let him go. He has opened you up to not only heartbreak but the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy or an STD.
You deserve better. You deserve to be with someone who only wants to be with you.
The other woman could be hurt also.
If he’s lying to you, he’s probably lying to her. Yes, there are some women who go into a situation knowing they’re the side chick, but for the most part, most don’t.
Be empathetic and understand he’s being deceitful to both of you.
You may feel your pain is worse, but be the generous woman, give up, and let her have him.
He’s enjoying the fight for his attention.
Having two women fight over a man only inflates the ego. While he may become angry, secretly he is laughing at both of you and is enjoying the show.
Don’t give him satisfaction.
A real man would not put the woman he loves in this situation and he could possibly be a narcissistic psychopath.
It gives a mirror image of your self-esteem and lack of self-worth.
No woman who is confident and values herself will fight another woman for some man. A woman who has high self-esteem knows her value and knows that she is worthy to be loved by a man who wants only her.
No matter how much it hurts, this woman will always walk.
She may love him, but she loves herself more.
It makes you look desperate.
Why are you fighting a woman over this sorry-ass man? You’re a grown woman. There are millions of eligible men on this planet and you’re wasting time on a cheater?
Get yourself together and pack your bags (or his) and keep it moving.
I don’t care if you have three kids by him or not.
Get out!
You may think you’re doing it for your family, but all you’ll end up with is a man who can’t stay home and children who won’t respect you.
It won’t make him love you.
He may deeply care for you, but he doesn’t really love you. If he did, he would be home with you. He would never put you in a situation that would risk your health or your heart.
Something could be missing in your relationship, but most likely there’s something missing in him.
Grown and mature people talk things out, they don’t add more people into a relationship.
It won’t make him stop.
I believe and will always believe – once a cheater, always a cheater. This is even more true if he did it before and you forgave him.
The only thing that has happened is that he may have gotten a little more creative with hiding his extracurricular activities from you. He’s not remorseful.
Leave him.
Even if he says he will stop, 9 times out of 10, he will eventually do it again.
No matter if he’s a sex addict, has mommy issues, or has low self-esteem, those are issues he’s going to have to deal with on his own.
Thank for blessing me with this reading.
I needed that.
You’re welcome!
Good analysis. And these 7 reasons works for everyone, women or man.
There are several cases where people should know these reasons before going too far.