Is it Time to Call It Quits?

Is It Time to Call It Quits? How to know when the relationship is over and when you should give up on it.

I have been going back and forth with a man who I met a while ago through a mutual friend.  Physically he wasn’t my type.  Our paths would have never crossed if not for the introduction.  What he had going for him, however, was his personality.

He was very charismatic.  He was funny and easy to talk to.  Our relationship developed pretty quickly and became hot and heavy real fast.

He promised me the world throughout our short courtship.  He wanted to buy me this and he wanted to take me around the world to see that.

I was excited because let’s face it, what girl doesn’t dream of being showered with gifts and affection?

Well, that’s what it was.  Just a dream.  His actions never met up with his words.  He never followed through with his promises.

He would get my hopes up.  He would ask me for my favorite color and the size I wore, but I would never see an outfit.

He would ask me what type of perfume I like to wear, but then I wouldn’t see a bottle unless I purchased it for myself.  I never received a present for any holiday, including my birthday.

I remember one afternoon he called me telling me to get dressed because he was going to take me out to dinner.  He said he would call me after he got off of work.  Hours later, I was back in my nightgown flicking through Netflix, because he didn’t call.

Days later he gave some sorry excuse as to why we didn’t go out.  Though I was mad about being stood up, I was angrier with him for not calling or letting me know something.

I told him that he wasn’t going to do that to me anymore and if he did I would walk.

Well, of course, he called my bluff.

One day I heard on the radio that my favorite comedian was coming to town.  I knew that no matter what, I was going to go and see him.  So, I went online and purchased tickets.  I purchased two because I knew he would want to go.  When I told him about it, he sounded excited.

Days leading up to the event, he stopped calling regularly.  I called him on Friday to confirm that we were still on for the event.  I told him he had to let me know by 4 o’clock so I could make other arrangements since I hadn’t heard from him.

Apparently, he became upset with that and called me the next morning (the day of the event) to tell me he was sick.  By this time, I had already asked my friend to find someone else to go with me, which she did.

I was upset and I was so convinced I wouldn’t have anything else to do with him after that.  I stopped talking to him for a while and one morning he called me to apologize to tell me some sob story that I can’t even remember well enough to repeat.

I forgave him.

We eventually grew apart, because he would always make promises that he couldn’t keep.  He would make plans and he never followed through with them.  I knew I deserved better and understood very well that under any other circumstances I wouldn’t take that mess.

Related Posts:

• 5 Ways to Know He’s Interested in You
• 7 Types of Men to Avoid Like the Plague
• What It Means When He Doesn’t Call

I blocked his number.  I realized that he hadn’t changed.  He was still undependable and I was wasting my time and heart with him.  I needed to cut my losses and move on.

There was no way I was going to end up like one of those women who wait years for a man.  I deserved better and I made the decision, that day that I was going to put me first, and only date available men.

There’s only so much a woman can take and I hope you realize you’re worth more than that.

Signs that it’s time to call it quits.

His words don’t match up with his actions.

He can promise the world, but how much of it have you seen? When a man fails to follow up his promises with actions, then it’s possible he’s not really interested in you.

People make an effort for people and things that are important to them.

He’s inconsistent.

If he plans dates with you only to break them soon thereafter, he has too much going on and you need to move on.

You deserve a consistent constant in your life. If he makes plans only to not follow through with them later, that’s just as bad as not making any at all.

His life might be in shambles or he finds other people or things that come before you. Move on.

He hasn’t made a commitment.

If you’ve been dating for months and still don’t know where you stand with him,  it’s safe to say he’s not interested in making a commitment with you.

There could be several reasons why he fails to commit to you. Being occupied with someone else or not being invested in your relationship could be two of them.

You deserve to know where you stand in a man’s life. Don’t waste your time with someone who isn’t interested in being in a relationship if that’s what you desire.

He’s abusive.

Enough said. If he is verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive to you then get the heck out now. Especially if he puts his hands on you. It will get worse, so don’t ever make excuses for him.

All abuse is not physical and if you’re not aware of it, you could become an emotional punching bag.

My friend made plans and canceled them. He would tell me he would pick me up in a couple of hours and I wouldn’t hear from him until the next day.

That was a form of emotional manipulation.

You deserve better.

He abuses drugs or alcohol.

Drug and alcohol addiction are diseases that no one can fight on their own. It takes a lot of counseling and treatment for someone to fight the urge.

If your boyfriend abuses drugs or alcohol, you will never take priority in his life until he kicks the habit. Find him help and then find the exit. He’s emotionally unavailable and cannot provide the type of relationship you deserve.

He is financially irresponsible.

I can admit, some of us are not the best when it comes to money. However, if he spends all of his money or doesn’t even have a job, move on.

At a certain age and time in your life, you should be financially stable enough to take care of yourself and maintain a certain lifestyle. If he can’t pay his bills, how will he ever be able to go out with you to have fun?

No matter what, a man shouldn’t use you as their personal ATM. My brother once told me that a man will find a way to get money. He will ask his family, friends, pick up shifts, etc….way before he asks a woman for money.

You can do bad by yourself and don’t need the added dead weight.

He’s a cheater.

In every relationship, it is important to be clear on your status. Are you all monogamous? Is it okay for you both to date other people.

It’s not fair for you to think that you’re in a relationship with someone only to have them live their best single life. Not only is he not faithful, but he’s putting your sexual health at risk.

You deserve to be someone’s one and only.

You’re not happy.

The fact that you’re asking yourself if you should leave this person means you’re not happy and should probably end the relationship.

No one should ever stay in a situation that brings them misery. There are billions of people in the world, you just need to find one to make you happy.

Trust me, it’s possible.

In the meantime, you can continue to date until you find that person. Or you could be alone and work on yourself.

Tell me ladies have you ever spent too much time with a man who was a hopeless case?  If so, sound off in the comments.